Well, I really like to travel. And I've been doing a lot of it lately. I just got back from Orlando with my son. We had a blast. We visited all of the attractions and did some site seeing. It was good to get away and spend some quality time with my kid without all of the every day distractions.
But, when we got back home it really started to sink in again. The thoughts of despair are a bit too much. Let me explain. It's not that my life is totally messed up. I have a good job, a car, a fairly decent apartment, friends; you know all the basics. Things aren't completely shabby. You see I'm divorced. I got married at the a very young age and felt that I missed out on a lot. It has been over 5 years since the divorce. At first, I was like YES!!! I'm rid of the slug. I can accomplish the things I need to accomplish. I set high standards and personal goals. I started school (I'll be finished in 6 months) and I've advanced in my career. My son wants for nothing. Everything seems cool on the outside.
Ok, here's the despairing part: I am in my early 30's and single. I've been single since the divorce, Single as in "no serious relationship" and single as in "no interest in a serious relationship". Five years is a long time! Having no boyfriend or significant other did not bother me at all up until recently. I had been focusing on other things such as my son, school and work. But now, I swear to you every time I watch TV or listen to the radio, it's about somebody or something in a relationship. Five years ago, I wanted out of the relationship because I thought I was missing out on LIFE, now that I've gotten what I wanted, I feel like I am missing out on LIFE. LOL it's really kind of comical when you think about it.
What worries me more is the fact that now that I want to be in a relationship, there is no one around. I mean there is not even one single person that would interest me in the least. There are no options. NONE! I am starting to think something is wrong with me. I used to pride myself on being and independent woman. "Who needs a man", I would say. I would laugh at women hanging on to a man just for the sake of having one. I would see them as desperate stupid bitches. LOL. Now who's alone?
Anyway, these are my thoughts for the moment. I'll keep you posted.