NJ Diva Girl

The life of a Ghetto Geek Diva...

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Location: New Jersey, United States

Professional, Single, Student, Parent

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    Tuesday, July 19, 2005

    But I Promised...

    But anyway, on the drive to work this morning, I started thinking about how stressed out I have been lately. I started to wonder if my stress levels have anything to do with not getting any. Yes, I've been celibate for a total of 7 months. No nookie for me so far in 2005. I made my self a promise at the end of December to do this. Not that there is a time limit on it, but I'm just not going to do it until I find someone who is worthy of my time, body and mind.

    Even though I've been single for a good amount of time, I had been sexually active. For the past couple of years, I regularly saw two guys. One I really liked, he was handsome, funny, ambitious. But I don't like someone up in my face all the time like that. I like my space. We can chill, go out, stay in, but then you can go home. The other guy was married. Not that I like to deal with married men. I most certainly don't. And I didn't intentionally set out to do it. It was just convenient for me at the time. I like my independence. But, I had to squash that real quick as I know that the whole relationship was dead wrong. Oh yeah and then I did some dabbling with a few women. I figured it wouldn't hurt. I needed to fully explore my sexuality. But at some point I realized that I didn't mind getting licked...it was the part about me licking someone else that irked me. So I guess that was so much for me being bi-sexual.

    Ok so getting back to my stress level, even though I promised myself and it hasn't bothered me much. I fact, I have even noticed that I am able to focus on other important things such as family, work and school. I think I am in serious need to break this promise. I figure out of sight out of mind, which has pretty much worked. But I don't know now...Iid hate to break my promise.

    Ok this morning was a kicker. No matter what I do, drama always tries to rear its ugly head. Take this morning for instance, a million and one things, which I don't care to go into detail about popped up. The 'theatrical events', as I like to call them, were not my own. But they were in fact crisis brought on by other people.

    Don't you just hate it when others try to drag in you into their mess? I can't stand it. It's not like I don't have enough of my own business to take care off. Of course, the drama was caused by my sister who I had mentioned in a previous entry. I'm going to stop running to her rescue. It is getting ridiculous. That's all I'm going to say.


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