NJ Diva Girl

The life of a Ghetto Geek Diva...

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    Wednesday, August 10, 2005

    The Condom

    I found an empty condom wrapper in the trash. Not that I go rummaging through trash, but I lost an earring and thought that maybe somehow it would be in there. So there I was poking around the trash hoping to find it. That's when I saw it. It wasn't mines. Oh no! Maybe someone had broken into my apartment while I wasn't there and did the nasty. It damn sure wasn't me! Damn, maybe that dream I had the other night wasn't a dream after all. Hehehe. No it couldn't be, none of this made sense. I was puzzled, perplexed, baffled...bewildered! Why was this empty Durex wrapper in the trash? Only one other person could have put it there and he's only 13 years old. Nooooo! Never in a million years could I ever imagine my nerdy-bookworm-computer-wiz-mini-me-thirteen year old even kissing a girl let alone using a condom. My heart raced. Where had I gone wrong? We have pretty good communication. I'm a cool mom but yet at the same time, there are rules. We talk all the time; we talk about everything - sex, condoms, masturbation, menstruation and even homosexuality - the whole nine yards! This kid tells me everything; there is nothing I thought we couldn't discuss. I would play it cool, there was no need to panic. Everything's cool. I'll just wait until he gets home and calmly ask him about it. Those two hours seemed like two decades.

    He walks in the door. "What's up mom? How was your day?" "Fine, look, I need to ask you something." Looking at me innocently, "Yes?" Me holding up the wrapper, "I found this in the trash." Mouth wide open with simple minded stare, "Ummm yeah, that's a condom paper." I thought, no shit Sherlock! "I know that, but I am wondering why it is in the trash." "Oh they gave it to us at camp yesterday". Trying to suppress my gasp, "At camp?" "Yes, at the museum, Planned Parenthood was there, they were on a table. When I got home, I opened it up and filled it with water ." Still a bit puzzled, I say, "Ooooh ok, so where is this water filled condom now?" "One sec", he slips out of the bathroom and then reappears. "Right here, see." There it was filled with water. Whew! What a relief, all I could do was smile and give him a great big hug.

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    The Condom


    At 8/11/2005 1:31 AM, Blogger Luke Cage said...

    (smile) That worked out pretty well. I had a feeling it was going to have a good ending...


    At 8/11/2005 3:53 AM, Blogger Midlife Crisis said...

    Thank Goodness!!! I waited with baited breath...only to laugh at the end. Cool.


    At 8/11/2005 4:51 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

    WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW. that is crazy. glad that all worked out! and you handled it very well!

    did you guys talk about "you know what" after that?


    At 8/11/2005 8:45 PM, Blogger NjDivaGirl said...

    Yes, Luke, I was pleased with the results. So far so good.
    Mid-life, I had to laugh too in the end.
    Hey Anonymous, Yes, but we have open communication anyway.


    At 8/12/2005 9:11 AM, Blogger Don Tate II said...

    Hahahaha, that was fun. At least he's talking to you. At a certain age they kinda go undercover. At least my daughters did. Now my oldest one tells me every thing. Everything. And I'm like, I'm your dad...I don't want to know that!


    At 8/12/2005 10:14 PM, Blogger YouToldHarpoTaBeatMe said...

    Wheeeeeww! I was about to pass out for the BOTH of us. Glad to hear it doubled as a water balloon instead of "See Ma, what had HAPPENED was...." saga.


    At 8/15/2005 10:49 AM, Blogger SimplyDiva said...

    I laughed so hard my side is hurting!


    At 8/15/2005 10:28 PM, Blogger Bullet Proof Diva said...

    ohhh my DAMN! I was reading this scurred FOR you, LMAO! not the babeee noooooo!

    whew, ok so we got about another, what 2 weeks before you have to deal with it fa real fa real?

    lol...jus kiddin...you sound like you are on top of things. You should be PROUD!


    At 8/17/2005 8:26 AM, Blogger Chicalookate said...

    Oh my... I about spit diet coke out of my nose... Congrats on not freaking out out loud. Internal freaking is okay. And great for talking to your son about such important issues... wish more people would.


    At 8/18/2005 12:47 AM, Blogger Myrah said...

    Gurl.... my heart was doing flip flops! How cute... little dude filled it with water!! What a relief!


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